I used to feel depressed and blue on Sunday afternoons.
I felt upset because :
- The weekend was already ending when I just started to unwind and get into it;
- School/work would start again the next day.
I couldn’t help but feel dread and/or anxiety about already going back to it. The weekend felt way too short; I needed more.
More time to relax. More time to enjoy. But, I barely got to a point of relaxation that a new week was starting.
It’s frustrating.
We go to school, then to college, then to our job 5 days a week, and only have 2 days to rest. I don’t think it’s enough.
At least, it’s not for me.
In Fall 2024, I developed burnout symptoms and unfortunately had to let go of my job. It was a temporary one, but I had hoped that I would be officially hired soon. It just didn’t happen.
But if I’m honest with myself, I was feeling more and more bored at this job. So much so that it was difficult for me to stay put at the desk for more than 20 minutes which is so unlike me.
I had been at this job for 2 years. I supposed that the newness and the challenge of it was gone. It wasn’t stimulating anymore.
I felt restless.
Then, one day, I randomly found myself having tachycardia.
Ironically, it happened on a Sunday afternoon. I was trying to take a nap and was about to fall asleep, when I suddenly felt a rush of anxiety/stress. And my heartbeat accelerated.
The funny part is my cardiac rhythm was high enough for the ER nurses to be concerned, but not high enough for them to decide to keep me at the hospital for the night.
It has taken around 2 hours for my heartbeat to be back to normal.
I took a sick leave the next day and got an appointment with my primary doctor. He put me on medical leave for 3 weeks. During this time, I made the decision to resign.
I was slightly unhappy about it, but a big part of me was relieved to go.
I realised being a secretary became uninteresting to me. And I needed something new.
It’s Fall 2025. I’m still unemployed. And I feel content despite the exhaustion I still feel regularly.
I don’t feel depressed on Sunday afternoons anymore. I replaced them with peaceful slow mornings walking around the lake, the wonder of watching the sunrise and enjoying of the silence.
I love it. I want more of it.
I’m working on building a life that will give more of it.
I have new goals now. Ones I’m actually excited about.
In the end, the tachycardia and burnout leading to my resignation were actually blessings in disguise.
